019: Leia. She’s a bit rough
- Leia spits on Vader, and… exciting news just in: the English language has a new word: IMBICLE! And, check out the SPECIAL EDITION version, below!
Blimey – she’s a bit rough!
Yet again, I can’t claim all the credit for this funny bit. Leia spits on Vader. Yeuk. It’s… in the blasted novelisation. Dammit!
Crap, crap, crap. It even sizzles when it lands on him.
“She succeeded in reaching him with her spit, which hissed against still-hot battle armour.”
– 1977 novelisation, by Alan Dean Foster
There I was thinking “George, George, George. Why couldn’t you push it just a bit further like this 9-10 year old did?” And then I read the novelisation:
“She succeeded in reaching him with her spit, which hissed against still-hot battle armour. He wiped the offensive matter away silently, watching her with interest as she was marched through the accessway into the cruiser”
I could have done so much more with it though. Oh the missed opportunities! Did she do a big nose-honk first? If we look closely, is she wearing a chunky sovereign ring? Is the Pocahontas hairdo actually a council-estate-facelift gone wrong? Can you imagine if she’d consistently spat on people throughout the film.
- Vader enters the prison cell – SPIT!
- She meets Tarkin: SPIT! “I thought I recognised your foul stench!” SPIT!
- Tarkin orders the destruction of her planet: HONK! SPIT! Eurrckh… eurkh – SPIT!
- Solo: “Let’s get one thing straight, your worship…”SPIT!
There’d be spit and green phlegm all over that shiny grey Death Star.
- Luke: “So… what do you think of her Han?”
Solo: “I’m trying not to kid. Yeuk.”
Loosen Up: Massive Markers!
Check out that M A S S I V E black marker that was used – later – on the top panel. Cripes! It was one of those brilliant big half-inch thick tipped ones my dad borrowed from the work stationery cupboard. Pretty bold eh? As I get better at drawing, I’d eventually start to use fine, fibre-tipped pens form dad’s work – and worse: finest of the fine Rotring pens. Doing millions of little dots [all part of growing up I suppose].
But a few years later in art college the tutors would struggle to get us to put down the skinny paint-brushes and 2H pencils and loosen up by sloshing on the paint with wide house-painter’s brushes and even strips of corrugated cardboard! As a great artist once said:
“When I was a child, I could draw like Raphael, but it took me a lifetime to learn to draw like a child”
– Pablo Picasso
Next: Gaze upon the DEATH STAR!
(full-body/wide-shot of Leia. She's hit by a stun blast and falls to the deck)
'Back on ship--'
Leia is hit, "Oh... Aaaaaah!" she exclaims.
"You shouldn't have run--traitor!" says the stormtrooper.
(Wide Shot of Darth Vader (who's choking a rebel), Princess Leia, and a stromtrooper)
"We got her Lord Vader." the stormtrooper announces.
"Where are those data tapes--imbicile!" growls Darth Vader at Princess Leia. The Rebel captain chokes to death.
"Gluck--argh..." as the rebel spits blood and dies.
"Get lost!" sneers Leia as she spits a gob of phlegm on Vader's armour. It sizzles. "I don't know what you're talking about, I--"