1982? | age 14/15? Introduce a cool character—waste no time killing him off. I was certainly au fait with the George Lucas way of doing things!

Art Notes

vader intimidates an officer with his lightsaber—kids' star wars comic page image detail

Above: Vader intimidating a poor 1980s gay man. Proof that Vader really IS evil—and a homophobe.

This page looks roughly contemporaneous with these ‘Star Wars’ adaption ones: <here and <here, and on the exact same paper too.

It’s pretty cool the way Vader surreptitiously ignites his saber behind his back. I don’t think he’d call Dengar “scum” though. Vader’s actions are horrible, but he doesn’t tend to lower himself to Nazi-like “Britischer pig-dog” dialogue. His grovelling underlings do, and the Emperor might, but not Vader. In fact, I can’t even recall Vader speaking hatefully toward anyone. He’s too disciplined. I don’t think what he does is motivated by hate. It’s something else, which I’ve never quite been able to work out. I suppose he fears disorder, and he’s motivated by the Emperor and the Dark Side. Chimes ith what Luke says, “There’s good in him.” But he’s manipulated.

luke and leia—kids' star wars comic page image detail

Above: Mark Hamill once again displaying what I ASSUMED were scars, but were probably ‘laughter lines.’ This is a very Marvel-ish image, with the hands dramatically reaching out towards us.

Script Notes

Slave 1—kids' star wars comic page image detail

Above: Slave 1 piloted by Dengar!—attacks the Millennium Falcon!

George introduced cool villains who went on to become legendary fan favourites in Star Wars—like Boba Fett and Darth Maul, only to ingnobly dump them down a hole the first chance he got. Would I do that? I already almost killed off Han and Chewie in this comic.

leia and han—kids' star wars comic page image detail

Above: Saucy boobs. I was probably a teenager when I drew this.

Not one to shrink from doing this myself, I’ve gone 1 or 2 steps further: Introduce Dengar and the very cool ship Slave 1—and almost immediately blast them to smithereens! Bye bye Dengar voice actor, your cheque’s in the post. And I didn’t even give us a look at Dengar.

slave 1 blasts the millennium falcon—kids' star wars comic page image detail

So what’s the long-term plan here? Have Boba Fett show up, furious about his old-ship being blown up? A chase ensues? Space fight? Boba is dropped down a hole?

Unfortunately, we’ll never know. It’s almost Pythonesque:


the quad cannon destroy slave 1—kids' star wars comic page image detail

Above: The Falcon’s quad cannon blasts the shite out of the Slave 1, destroying it, and Dengar. Bye bye!

Yep, that’s it. there are no more pages. I lost interest, or couldn’t be bothered trying to write my way out of this mess of a story.

I have 1 more idea for this site, but it’s an absolutely mammoth project. I might or might not do it. If I do, it’ll take a lot of prep work, and I might update sporadically—when I can. I also might ask guest writers to get involved, if they fancy a bit of fun!

As a consolation for now though, here’s the back cover, which I cleverly drew in 2 tones: solid black and stark white. Wasn’t I a Mr. Fancy-pants artist!

stormtrooper—kids' star wars comic

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