VII IX It's pretty much NON-STOP BLASTING from here on readers! And I hope - plenty of laughs for you too.

Read Part VIII of the Comic

Our heroes get to know one another in the more intimate surroundings of the Trash compactor

Leia's appearance takes on a whole new definition - if you like - of extreme ugliness. "But I've seen her Han she's - UGLY!" Not possible? Stay tuned.

We get possibly the longest, most brain-torturing sentence since John Ruskin. But it's funny!

Solo realises he hates Leia.

And we wave goodbye to Ben in a manner even less dignified than in the movie.

All of these tantalising nuggets sifted from the grit, and more, in the version you've been bloody-well gagging for since 1977. Let's go!

Read Part VIII of the Comic

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